Monday, July 25, 2011
How God Messed Up My Religion: The Wild Gun of Equality (BOOK EXCERPT)
How God Messed Up My Religion: The Wild Gun of Equality (BOOK EXCERPT): "** I continue to devote nearly all of my writing energy to my book project, Unladylike: A Call for Resistance to the Injustice of Inequa..."
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Twisted Patriarchal Message Of The Day, July 22, 2011
As I was contemplating exactly which patriarchal distortion I was going to publish for today (and there are too many to count), I decided that I would go with an oldie, but certainly a goodie. But before I get on with that, I thought I'd give ya a quick re-cap on all the new and exciting things I have either learned, or have had reinforced, about my womanly self in the last couple of days. And before you go turning your gaze on those independent baptists or those wayward Mormons to blame them, I suggest you look right in your very own communities to the evangelical Christians, of which I belong to. Be prepared to be enlightened, as there are many things you will probably learn about yourself and your role on this earth in the next few moments. Fasten your seat belts, ladies (and any tag-along men), and away we go!
1) Women should not have careers and, if they do, they are more prone to cheating and necessarily competing with their husbands.
2) Women do not need post-secondary educations because many Christian men do not find education in a wife a necessity.
3) It is wrong for a woman to not marry.
4) Women who do not want children are deviant.
5) Women who lead either in the home, church, or in the social sphere, are evil, rebellious, and lead men astray like Eve did, creating all the trouble we see in the world today.
6) A woman’s very identity, purpose, and value are tied into her husband and she should sink her own desires, ambitions, and individuality into her husband’s wishes and desires.
7) Women who do not take care of themselves and who are not sexually available to their husbands in the way that the Song of Solomon is so frank about (this means being willing to engage in any sort of sexual activity that the husband desires), are at least partially responsible for their husband’s adulteries.
8) Men are referred to as girly-boys when they are vain, sissies, and cowards with a lack of character (of course, because women are vain, sissies, and cowards with a lack of character).
9) Women need their true desires dictated to them if they disagree with this ideology as they are too infantile to know their own desires and what would make them happy.
10) Little girls should be raised and trained to be homemakers only.
11) Fathers need not push their daughters to take risks, or challenge them to be more courageous, because girls only need to know they are unconditionally loved by men – first by their fathers, and eventually by their husbands.
12) Fathers must give their daughters to a man in marriage, and it is wrong for a woman, adult or not, single or not, to not be under the leadership of a man.
13) God thinks menarche is the most repulsive thing in the world – the only thing disgusting enough to compare our sins to. And finally,
This one isn’t new, but it is today’s...
1) Women should not have careers and, if they do, they are more prone to cheating and necessarily competing with their husbands.
2) Women do not need post-secondary educations because many Christian men do not find education in a wife a necessity.
3) It is wrong for a woman to not marry.
4) Women who do not want children are deviant.
5) Women who lead either in the home, church, or in the social sphere, are evil, rebellious, and lead men astray like Eve did, creating all the trouble we see in the world today.
6) A woman’s very identity, purpose, and value are tied into her husband and she should sink her own desires, ambitions, and individuality into her husband’s wishes and desires.
7) Women who do not take care of themselves and who are not sexually available to their husbands in the way that the Song of Solomon is so frank about (this means being willing to engage in any sort of sexual activity that the husband desires), are at least partially responsible for their husband’s adulteries.
8) Men are referred to as girly-boys when they are vain, sissies, and cowards with a lack of character (of course, because women are vain, sissies, and cowards with a lack of character).
9) Women need their true desires dictated to them if they disagree with this ideology as they are too infantile to know their own desires and what would make them happy.
10) Little girls should be raised and trained to be homemakers only.
11) Fathers need not push their daughters to take risks, or challenge them to be more courageous, because girls only need to know they are unconditionally loved by men – first by their fathers, and eventually by their husbands.
12) Fathers must give their daughters to a man in marriage, and it is wrong for a woman, adult or not, single or not, to not be under the leadership of a man.
13) God thinks menarche is the most repulsive thing in the world – the only thing disgusting enough to compare our sins to. And finally,
14) Battered women must endure being smacked one night, and then she can get help… but only from the church.
This one isn’t new, but it is today’s...
"Twisted Patriarchal Message Of The Day" for this 22nd day of July, 2011.
And to which insanely awesome "leader and protector" of women do we owe today's honorary Distorted Patriarchal Message of the day? None other than John-"Complementarian"-Piper.
“she endures, perhaps, being smacked one night, and then she seeks help ."
Am I the only evangelical Christian who sees this statement as grossly wrong?
I realize there are several ways one might interpret this, and I don’t pretend to know the exact intent behind John Piper’s statement here, but he frames the sentence very curiously.
To start, he uses the word “being” in the sentence “she endures, perhaps, *being* smacked one night, and then she seeks help” (emphasis mine). Now I’ve listened to enough of John Piper’s messages, and read enough of his books to know that each word he uses is carefully weighed, calculated, and is intentionally selected in keeping with the purposed message he wants to communicate. In this case, he employs the present continuous suffix “being,” leaving the exact message dangerously vague...or is he?
“she endures, perhaps, being smacked one night, and then she seeks help. "
Is he saying she endures a smack one night, or is he saying she endures repeated smacks one night? It’s impossible to pin down his intended meaning based on this answer alone.
And let’s say in this case he is strictly referring to one single smack. Does he factor in how hard that smack is? Where the wife gets smacked? Whether or not there are children watching, children in her arms? What if it is an ongoing pattern of repeated isolated instances of her “being smacked one night” – how many times does the wife endure this “being smacked one night” before she can leave the marriage or call the police and have her husband charged?
Are you kidding?!? How is this answer relevant to our situational variables and relationships?
There isn’t anything the least bit practical about this comment...unless it was intended to be inclusive of all domestic abuse situations.
I submit to you that John Piper knows that very well. He is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a dumb man. And, unfortunately, when read into the context of the message’s entirety, the picture starts to look even grimmer.
In this particular sentence, you find an ill-placed “perhaps” right smack in the middle of the sentence, which, regrettably, has the effect of making his directives for battered women even more ambiguous: “perhaps,” in this context, implies that this particular situation of “being smacked one night” (whatever he means by that) is but one situation out of multiple situations that would fall under the category of “simply hurting her” – in which cases the principle of ‘endure one night and then get help..*from the church’* would apply to each of them.
If we are to objectively consider all the data here, including context and usage of words employed by John Piper, one could easily surmise that he does not believe even a severe beating, or repeated smacks, should be treated any differently than a smack one night (if that is what he meant). It all falls under the“simply hurting her” category, and this highly intelligent man makes no other distinctions at all. I do not believe for one second that it was an oversight.
To give more weight to my understanding of Piper's pseudo-solution, he conveniently fails to address the situations in which there are beatings or repeated physical attacks as isolated issues that ought to be dealt with on their own terms – indeed, he doesn’t acknowledge these occurrences at all. That’s a funny thing to leave out when one is discussing domestic abuse.
Unless, of course, he did not leave it out, but instead intended for it to be included in his “simply hurting her” category, wherein she would “endure it one night and get help”…*from the church* - the same church that has a terrible track-record for protecting women in domestic abuse situations.
And that makes his answer to the question that much more disgusting.
And, also curious, is how he does not regard wife battery as a severe sin on par with the more “bizarre” and more “abusive” sins such as “group sex.” While group sex and "abusive" acts are not to be endured, getting smacked apparently is.
But no surprise – it’s just one more example of the bizarre (at best) priorities of so many evangelical Christians.
But more pointedly, his insertion of the word “simply” in the sentence “he is not requiring her to sin but is *simply* hurting her” (emphasis mine) has major problems all on its own.
Unfortunately for Piper, his wording here reveals a complete lack of respect for abuse as a serious and severe violation against a woman. Either that or he has a complete lack of respect for the women who are abused.
Furthermore, if the words of Jesus are any indication of John Piper’s heart toward women, then it would be reasonable to concern ourselves with his usage of the word “simply” before the two words “hurting her.” This effectively exposes his indifferent attitude towards women – or, at the very least, it exposes his indifference to the nature of the suffering battered women endure.
This is just another example of how a Complementarian undermines his own credibility by his own attitudes that, despite his best efforts to conceal them, inevitably make their way to the surface.
And lastly, I don’t quite understand why it is that instead of acknowledging that leaders like Piper are fallible men, and as such, sometimes get it wrong, evangelicals most often defend ignorance and arrogance. I think the Church would have a higher credibility if she were more dedicated to integrity than to self-preservation. When a leader makes public statements he should know that his statements will be publicly scrutinized and debated – and they should be – especially within the church. If he can’t handle it, he should step down. As the old saying goes, “if you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen.”
I for one am not like him that I would force someone to stay in the kitchen against their will.
And with that, I will leave you now with my only regret...
Forgive me, Lord, but I am having a terrible time here trying not to echo the sentiments of his fan club on YouTube:
"I'd love to see him endure being smacked for a season ."
Meybe just so that he can see what it's like and perhaps be a little more mindful of the women who are listening to his crap. Really.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Twisted Patriarchal Message Of The Day, July 19th, 2011
It seems that no matter how many times, or how loudly I harp, (yes, that's right - this woman is not ashamed about harping about injustices within the church that are being largely ignored by the church), people don't seem to believe me that there is a disturbing trend among many patriarchal evangelical leaders to stigmatize, oppress, demean, and disenfranchise women in an attempt to encourage men to rise up. The son of a gun, Mark Driscoll, himself, somewhat touches on the danger of this happening. I was delighted to find this surprisingly insightful jewel tucked away in the middle of his response to the controversy stirred up by a remark he published on his Facebook status:
The sad fact of the matter is that church is failing to do so, and I am altogether sick of my gender suffering the consequences of the church's failure in this regard. Women should not be pushed down just so that a "twenty-or-thirty-something male" will feel good about himself and, perhaps, be manipulated into going to, and participating in, the church experience.
This is why I am going to be using this blog for the next little while to compile all of the sermons, pieces of literature, radio broadcasts, and YouTube videos I can on the various ways in which the patriarchal church's leaders (which happen to be all men, not surprisingly) are hurting the church through their sexist, careless, and ignorant remarks, all the while their "submissive" little wives following closely behind them to mimic their distorted sentiments.
There are three things I would like to establish before continuing, however.
#1. My goal is not to bash my brothers and sisters in Christ, but to appeal to the church to stand up to this God-dishonouring sexism, - even if it is not intentional or is simply an isolated mistake, - and ask our Christian leaders, teachers, pastors, and other powerful Christian voices, to really ask yourself what message we are sending to those who are listening, and to recant and repent where they need to.
It is my conviction that when someone representing the church makes a public statement that is damaging, it is the responsibility of the entire church to publicly renounce said statement and rebuke the person in persistent sin so that all will fear (1Ti 5:20).
Though I have the highest respect for some of these teachers of the Word, like John Piper, I am here to say I respectfully, yet passionately, disagree.
#2. I will not be very merciful in these posts, because the seriousness of these offenses (though they may be unintended) require a harsh response.
#3. I am Canadian, as as such, I will spell some words differently than an American would. Just because you may find an awkward "u" popping up in a word, for example, does not necessarily mean it was misspelled. Just sayin.
So without further ado, let me introduce you to today's Twisted Patriarchal Message Of The Day this 19th day of July, 2011!
"How can the church compel men to rise up without pushing women down?"
The sad fact of the matter is that church is failing to do so, and I am altogether sick of my gender suffering the consequences of the church's failure in this regard. Women should not be pushed down just so that a "twenty-or-thirty-something male" will feel good about himself and, perhaps, be manipulated into going to, and participating in, the church experience.
This is why I am going to be using this blog for the next little while to compile all of the sermons, pieces of literature, radio broadcasts, and YouTube videos I can on the various ways in which the patriarchal church's leaders (which happen to be all men, not surprisingly) are hurting the church through their sexist, careless, and ignorant remarks, all the while their "submissive" little wives following closely behind them to mimic their distorted sentiments.
There are three things I would like to establish before continuing, however.
#1. My goal is not to bash my brothers and sisters in Christ, but to appeal to the church to stand up to this God-dishonouring sexism, - even if it is not intentional or is simply an isolated mistake, - and ask our Christian leaders, teachers, pastors, and other powerful Christian voices, to really ask yourself what message we are sending to those who are listening, and to recant and repent where they need to.
It is my conviction that when someone representing the church makes a public statement that is damaging, it is the responsibility of the entire church to publicly renounce said statement and rebuke the person in persistent sin so that all will fear (1Ti 5:20).
Though I have the highest respect for some of these teachers of the Word, like John Piper, I am here to say I respectfully, yet passionately, disagree.
#2. I will not be very merciful in these posts, because the seriousness of these offenses (though they may be unintended) require a harsh response.
#3. I am Canadian, as as such, I will spell some words differently than an American would. Just because you may find an awkward "u" popping up in a word, for example, does not necessarily mean it was misspelled. Just sayin.
So without further ado, let me introduce you to today's Twisted Patriarchal Message Of The Day this 19th day of July, 2011!
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Thursday, March 10, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
A Word to Christian Men
I have come to respect men like David Powlison, Dan Allender (heard below) and Bruce Peircy very much. Not only because they are the few voices of men that can be heard crying out along side their sisters for justice for women and children, but because of their Christ-like humility and gentleness. They don't just talk the talk and usurp their entitlement to leadership and headship of women; they demonstrate it and exemplify it in such a beautiful way that even I would not and do not feel threatened by their positions of leadership and headship over me.
They are certainly not like the typical intellectual, wise-in-their-own-eyes brothers these days who ridicule others (including "chicks" and homosexuals) to affirm their "macho" masculinity. And they do not define leadership in terms of being authoritative over a woman; they define what it means to lead by the example of tenderness and humility and servant-hood that Jesus Christ demonstrated. They strive to possess the qualities that real Christian leaders should exemplify - qualities that can be found in passages such as Malachi 6:8:
God is raising up people to fight against the evil that is sweeping the globe and brutally stealing the innocence and dignity of women and children (and boys) worldwide.The only problem for Christian men is...the people fighting on the home front are mostly women...and our men are playing around as if there wasn't a war waged against us all. No, many of them are actually jumping in bed with the enemy and assaulting the innocence and dignity of the woman or child he has chained there. So what we have now are a number of Deborah and Jaels, doing as the men are not doing, and stepping out of their comfort zones to courageously pursue the glory of God in hope and faith. They know what men forget: when men bail out of the war...it is always the women and children who suffer most and God is heartbroken at their suffering and at the failure of men to be men.
Yet what I see are these few humble men, not seeking the spotlight with outrageous displays for shock value or by flaunting the gifts God has given them for their own exaltation; and who are not preoccupied with using the Scriptures to subjugate women in order to stroke their own egos and affirm their masculinity, but with a genuine mercy and passion to uphold, and seek, and preserve, and fight, for the glory of God.
Christian men, with all due respect, maybe it's about time for you to spend the larger portion of your energies, not arguing about who is right, but doing what you continue to complain that we women are not allowing you to do - lead.
Some key issues that the women (who you claim you have a responsibility to protect and lead) are being hurt by are:
Abortion
Prostitution
Pornography
The following audio was a recorded message from Dan Allender at the Samaritan's Purse conference on the Exploitation of women and children.
Please, really examine your hearts and ask whether or not you as a man are striving to lead with the same godly intentions and integrity as these men. They are good examples of courageous and masculine men.
They are certainly not like the typical intellectual, wise-in-their-own-eyes brothers these days who ridicule others (including "chicks" and homosexuals) to affirm their "macho" masculinity. And they do not define leadership in terms of being authoritative over a woman; they define what it means to lead by the example of tenderness and humility and servant-hood that Jesus Christ demonstrated. They strive to possess the qualities that real Christian leaders should exemplify - qualities that can be found in passages such as Malachi 6:8:
"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
God is raising up people to fight against the evil that is sweeping the globe and brutally stealing the innocence and dignity of women and children (and boys) worldwide.The only problem for Christian men is...the people fighting on the home front are mostly women...and our men are playing around as if there wasn't a war waged against us all. No, many of them are actually jumping in bed with the enemy and assaulting the innocence and dignity of the woman or child he has chained there. So what we have now are a number of Deborah and Jaels, doing as the men are not doing, and stepping out of their comfort zones to courageously pursue the glory of God in hope and faith. They know what men forget: when men bail out of the war...it is always the women and children who suffer most and God is heartbroken at their suffering and at the failure of men to be men.
Yet what I see are these few humble men, not seeking the spotlight with outrageous displays for shock value or by flaunting the gifts God has given them for their own exaltation; and who are not preoccupied with using the Scriptures to subjugate women in order to stroke their own egos and affirm their masculinity, but with a genuine mercy and passion to uphold, and seek, and preserve, and fight, for the glory of God.
Christian men, with all due respect, maybe it's about time for you to spend the larger portion of your energies, not arguing about who is right, but doing what you continue to complain that we women are not allowing you to do - lead.
Some key issues that the women (who you claim you have a responsibility to protect and lead) are being hurt by are:
Abortion
Prostitution
Pornography
The following audio was a recorded message from Dan Allender at the Samaritan's Purse conference on the Exploitation of women and children.
Please, really examine your hearts and ask whether or not you as a man are striving to lead with the same godly intentions and integrity as these men. They are good examples of courageous and masculine men.
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